Unhappiness = Happiness??!!

“ What do you want to be when you grow up?”
“ I want to be happy”.
“No, No ..you don’t understand the assignment”
“No, No..you don’t understand life”
     -Lennon

Of late, the primary sources of my thoughts and knowledge  are whatsapp, twitter and Facebook :P. Its probably a testimony to how intelligent I was before, that people don’t seem to notice the current fall in standards of my thinking :P..hehe.

Anyways, this was one forward a friend forwarded and I was so absolutely amazed at the profoundness and stuck by the simplicity of the thoughts expressed that it made me think of a ridiculously complex theory about happiness :P

I have decided to call it the Unhappiness Threshold theory …According to my new theory, I have concluded that  it is extremely essential for a person to be sufficiently unhappy for him to even try  to reach a point of happiness… Huh?..U say..Lemme explain..

I suppose, we can agree that every single minuscule thing we do right from the time we are born is all aimed at realizing an objective which will make us happy. This happens even before we know we are doing something and definitely before we know what happiness is. Given the wholehearted 24 * 7 effort we put into being happy, seems to me, we should all have been more..eh ..happy.

Now, there are at least a zillion reasons why people are not as happy as they want to be.. Many of them are not resolvable…like loss of a loved one, loss of health etc etc ..Since, there is precious little that can be done about these, we will leave these out of consideration for this theory…

However, fortunately, most of us are not hounded by any of these earth shattering problems. At the most, we only have teeny tiny niggles, worries and concerns that  we constantly worry and fuss about. Infact, these are so tiny that we usually don’t do anything about them..
Consider some instances,

A person who is slightly overweight never does anything consciously to reduce weight.. He/She is more likely to passively worry about it than actively try and to do something to cast the problem away.

Or a person who is bored of his job. I see people like that all the time. And mind you, I am not taking about financial considerations here. The fix needed could be something as simple as getting a project change. They are a lil unhappy about their jobs but they shrug it off and get the work done and only crib about it from time to time.

But this passive worry does have a cost to it.. It stops the person from achieving that ideal blissful happy state. And this behavior, on the face of it ,is against our natural instinct. So, what is causing this deviation?

 This is where my theory comes in. I think the reason we don’t act on these worries is because the unhappiness they cause is too insignificant compared to the perception of the effort we think is required in order to move to a better state. So, till the unhappiness levels cross a threshold ( which could be different for different people and for  different situations), the action required to move to the happiness state is not performed.

So, next time , you think you are not happy enough, check and see if you are unhappy enough!

Confusion..Confusion!

I think we, as a community are a highly confused lot. On one hand, we will sit morchas and stage protests demanding eradication of corruption and equal treatment for all and all that.
On the other hand, we will sit up shocked and say the most ridiculous of things when the system unexpectedly wakes up and metes out equal treatment.

Maybe its just that we haven’t been brought up that way . We simply dunno how to handle it when things are equal.
I mean, don’t we all know from Animal Farm days that ‘All are equal. But some are more equal than others’…
Subconsciously, I think this is how we want things to be.Or atleast that’s the only reason I can think of to explain the huge hue and cry over Salman’s Khan conviction  and the subsequent jubiliation over the suspension of the sentence...

Or am I missing something major here??…Sigh!

P.S: The title is supposed to be read the way Salman Khan says Confusion..Confusion to SRK in KKHH :P

God's wry sense of humour :)

Sometimes it takes great melancholy to make you see the world for the unfair place that it is, to make you realize that He is probably sitting up  there and having a good big laugh as you toil and garner all your strength and determination to get through the very difficult and trying challenge life has just thrown at you.

Though I am normally not one to have such profound insights on life or anything else for that matter, I chanced upon this discovery when I had just finished devouring my rather tiny (:P) triple sundae and had to decide on whether to top it up with a second helping or settle to eat some measly looking heathly thing. The enormity of the decision (:P) coupled with the huge pain the impending sacrifice would cause made me think of these existential questions.

Really, why in God’s name did karela have to be healthy and ice cream n pizza n cheese n butter n all the nice sweet things in life be unhealthy. Would it have been so difficult for Him to have effected the opposite scenario? Imagine a world where u were sick and u went to the doctor and he told you off for exercising too much and for not eating enough potato chips and advised you to sit on the couch and watch TV whilst munching your heart out on the choicest of  goodies to get back to health..ah! bliss :-)

And such seemingly inexplicable situations are not limited to food alone. He let us all be perpetually foolish and to never truly appreciate what we have till it was gone .. Remember , how most of us went through childhood and college wishing we were adults who didn’t have to study and do homeworks…and how as adults, we keep ruing about childhood and the joys of it. Or how most single people dream of getting married and most married people talk of joys of being single or how you never truly appreciate getting up late on a Sunday morning and whiling away the whole day doing no productive thing till you have small kids of your own who seem to think Sundays are ‘Get up at 6 AM days’ :O.. Would providing a few fast forwards visions in life  been so tough for him:P

Speaking of kids, I think this is where He decided to have the most fun ..hehe.

Just the other day, I was reading up an article which said something about the only way to raise perfect kids was to be perfect ourselves…I would have instantly dismissed the article out of my mind certifying both my kid and ourselves as perfect..after all, self doubt hardly helped anybody, but my kid at that minute was ..ahem..not being perfect.

Years of development experience has taught me a few basic things:

a) you deny the bug – I couldn’t as it was screaming at the top of its lungs in my face  

b) you  hope its somebody elses code :P – Thought of pinning the whole thing on P ..Only, it wouldn’t work coz I spend half the time complaining bt how P isn’t at home enough and I end up taking credit for doing everything for sonny boy. .honestly, should practice a lil bit of lying low. :P

c) Fix it- huh? Whaddya mean?..I am not perfect ?

d) Ignore it- which is what I did :P..after all who doesn’t scream around a lil bit now and then and really screaming is a healthy outlet for all pent up emotions.Sure,he may need a lil education about not screaming in my ears..after all , lets face it, its amongst the depleting set of my sense organs which hasnt reported a problem till now :P

On most days I am ok with His arrangement with kids but on days like above, I dunno why He had to go so big on genes…Sure, we all love ourselves and our families but I dunno if I would have complained too much if I could have let our perfect family aside and instead chosen Hrithik’s looks, Sachin tendulkar’s dedication and so on for my kid:P

Sonny Boy :)

  A 'Mind Your Language' moment at home.:P


Me ( advancing towards sonny boy, looking all menacing): I am feeling very hungry..I will eat you now

SB: Why?  Are you a volleyball or what ? ( had told him a while ago about cannibals..lol)
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 We painstakingly taught him the 'Lion and the Mouse' story for a story competition at his school..Many rehearsals later, on the D-day,  I go to pick him up from school ,

Me: Story chennagi heldhya?
SB: Hoon..naanu Ant and the dove story heldhe
Me: What?:O!!..Lion and the mouse story yaako hellilla?
SB: Boreu...Swarith adhe story heldha..onde story helidhre bore aagtulla ellargu...adakke bere story heldhe
Me: Nin thale :(

I had no clue that he knew any other story in English..Supposedly, he had heard that from his mam

And did all the effort he had put in on the lion and the mouse story go waste?....No Sir...He used it to entertain people at home..This is how.. He now has a brand new version of the story where the lion has been replaced with P's name  and the mouse with urs truly...So, the new version of the story is
One day when the P was sleeping the forest, a tiny S ran over it .. u get the drift..

Dont ask me how he got the idea..I am not built to think tht way :)

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As far as ambitions go, I have to admit, I was totally unimaginative..Mine started with a doctor and ended with an engineer with a lawyer or something like that coming up in between...But,my son is more than making ammends for it

He loves big cars..uh.,.actually big vehicles...It initially started out with a very respectable,  buying an innova car ambition  and  then he saw a tempo  with more people sitting in it and decided that a change of ambition was in order and quickly wanted to buy a tempo and become a tempo driver.
Then,he spotted a Volvo bus sometime back and decided that ,that was bigger than a tempo and wanted to become a bus driver. ..He told me that he will let strangers also sit in his bus..Just the thing I wanted to hear, I assured him :P

Of late, becoming a soldier has caught his fancy..He thinks being a soldier is all about fighting 'gogas'  and so, for him, its like mixing business with pleasure :)

I have no clue what he will eventually become but I do hope he will b all passionate about whatever it is that he  takes up ( yup...an emotion all sw engineers will understand :P)

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For all the times I saw kids bawling/shouting and gloatingly thought ,my kids wouldnt be like that ( this was before I had a kid ofcourse), I know of atleast two such occassions when my son has done all that and more...Time's sweet revenge :P

On one such occasion,

Me: You were a really bad boy ..so,we have given your cycle away to another kid

He quickly goes to check on his cycle and sees it missing..I prepare myself for all the fireworks that are to start

SB: Nange cycle beda and walks away

No crying, no tantrums..nothing...

Just when I am feeling all sad that he has grown up to not care for empty threats, he comes back crying

SB: Neevibru bad...Naan doddon aadhmele ond dod cycle togothini..nim ibrannu koodaskolodhilla...adhralli ond dod feeding bottle itkonde itkothini..

I dunno what he his other grand plans were...We burst out laughing which further angered him and he went to complain to higher authorities ( read grandparents ) about us ..lol

Happy New Year:)!

I have never realy understood the reason behind all the excitement December brings but since I have this innate ability to not understand most things in life :P, will just let the whys go and quietly join the crowd and add my share of noise to the Yeys! going around..:)So,here goes a Yey! Its Decmeber and another Yey! to Yey!2010s gone..Ah! doesnt feel authentic, does it?..Told ya, simply havent gotten the hang of this December business..Sigh!

Anyways,this ones for all those people who made this year super memorable...the ones who enriched my life by just being a part of it..U guys rock:)

Sonny boy - In all my life, I never thought I would get so lucky to have somebody like you in my life :) You are the reason behind everything thats sweet and nice in my world...I cant even begin to describe the joy and the pride I feel to be your mom..I know you will change in the years to come but whatever you become...please dont EVER stop being a mama's boy:)..Love you lots :)

P : Husband, friend,chaffeur and at-times a royal pain :P...I cant think of a single other person in this world who could have borne all my moodiness and temper tantrums and crabbiness with such ease..Thank you for everything :)..Heres wishing atleast 60 years more of togetherness...Good luck to ya:))

Amma & Anna: My strength..My support system..My everything:)..I will not elaborate coz you guys are way too special and way too important to be described by mere words!

Srish,Ras & Saanu: Saanu, my daughter and the super cute princess of our family..have no clue how we even existed bef u guys came along :)...love u sweety :)Ras-my baabhi,friend and fashion consultant ! and Srish..Ah!what can i say about him..What do you call somebody who is ur biggest critic and still the bestest of supports,your worst foe and the greatest of friends...I guess u call him a brother :) He is the one who will criticize my cooking skills, my dressing style and my 'being' style and he is also the one who will pick up my calls at 2 am in the morn and come driving all the way to my house at that time to ensure things are right...Thank you big bro:)

Family&relatives: My inlaws,Aunts ,Uncles ,Chan, Shru, Ro, Jay--Immensely nice people who have made this year so much fun..May the year ahead have a lot of 'all of us' times :)

Friends and FRIENDS(the serial)- Had to group the two together coz both of them have been instrumental in keeping fun alive in life... Ro, Nam, Sow, Sang,S^2, Swap, B, Rum, Sac,Ramesh,Ash,and the Rams...Thank u guys:)

Well, thats it this year...Have a very happy new year people :)

I propose and....Life disposes!

Theres probably nothing as intriguing in life as life itself..Just when u think u have it  all figured out and lay grandiose plans to take it by the horns and make it go the way u want, the slimy creature that it is does a quiet u-turn leaving u as clueless as you were before you embarked on this entire figuring out business...

If you are wondering what all this sudden animosity towards life is all about, let me first assure you that things are just fine and that life and I are at loggerheads like this all the time and then proceed to give you a little perspective on the state of affairs..

It was way back in September.. I was being my characteristic slumbery self waking up only
now and then to crib wholeheartedly to B and gang about how the world at large and the officemates in particular were refusing to make use of the huge talent that lay hidden in our beings, about how apathetic our supervisors were etc..
Now B, not being like yours truly ( thank God for that ,U say?..well,have to agree on that one :P) decided that enough was enough and that the only way forward was to quit the job here and take up another job in another company and also roll in the extra dough that it would bring in..I quite liked the idea ( esp the extra dough part :P) and was very eloquent in my support for it and would have been content just talking about it for,as you may have figured out by now, I am a person of too many words and too few actions:P...

B on the other hand is among the most proactive people I know and once she sets her heart on
something,there is no way in this world that she will rest till that 'something' is conquered ..(Hey! B...Just a little note here to say how I think your attitude rocks and going by what transpired in yet another coffee session, sac and rum agree too :))

Anyway, I digress,So while I promptly went back to nap after the show of support, B got busy polishing her resume and taking up interviews and it wasnt long before she came in beaming one day to tell us that she had landed a rather nice job in a very cool company...It was then that I woke up and we collectively woke others in the team up and before we knew everybody was talkign about quitting and almost every one of us cleared interviews and started putting in resignation letters sending shockwaves to the management team....Well, it would have served the team right for having ignored us for that long a time and would have been a typical 'Alls well that ends well' thing but for the slimy part of life kicking in...

For some strange reason , the companies I took up the interviews in were only fast in conducting interviews and declaring me cleared and in procuring all my docs from the time I started playschool but the offer letter, the one doc I needed to join my now ex-teammates team remained totally elusive....It was almsot as if I had carried my management team's bug to those organsiations and had infected the lot with them...In the meantime, my own company , rattled as it was by the numerous resgnations gave me a very unexepected promotion and my previously apathetic supervisors have overnight transformed to models of responsiveness and have been calling on me regularly to check what it is I need so that they can hasten and give me just that to prevent yet another resignation from happening...Well,all in all, it has worked out pretty well and left with me not too many things to complain about...But thats not me at all and so here I am complaining about how I wish Life had gone on the way I had planned it...Well, maybe someother time...huh?

(Dis)order!

If you are the kinds who think babies are all cute and sweet and nice , you have obviously not caught saanu and sachin in action together. For the unitiated, saanu is my 1 year 3 month old neice and Sachin is my 1.5 years old son. The brother,baabhi, hubby and I had grand plans of how we were going to contribute to the great cause of India and of the world and still be super fair parents by not having any more kids and just letting them each b the sibling and the support system (that everybody talks about )to the other one...A nice one u say..Thats what we thought too till our grand plan became 2 extremely naughty kids :-)...
My mom, who for most part of her life has tried to keep the house spick and span ( this despite me and my brother:P) now sits resigned to the fact that with forces like them around, she has not a chance of suceeding in her efforts..After all what can you do when there are two people who think their main business in life is to ensure that every toy is kept out of its covers ( I want to go meet the guy who designed all the shapes and sizes Fisher Price toys..bet he never met any kids in his life :P..coz all our kids want to do is to throw each shape as far as possible...the farther and the more inaccessible the place..the better..hehe), that the newspapers and magazines are actually there for them to test their tearing sklls and that Tata's and Ajji's specs cases are to be thrown around everywhere...Only, they do all this with all the charm and cuteness
that only kids are capable of, that my mom and dad are actaully glowing and gloating about their grandkids skills..hehe.
It was on one such typical day when the two imps were running amok with their crazy acts that I suddenly thought I HAD to do something to bring the mad house in order and drawing sufficient inspiration from all the other mommy bloggers I read ,decided to indulge them both in some constructive activity. I picked up the colors book that had found its usual place on the floor and called Sachin with what i hoped was a very alluring tone :)..Though,not one to normally respond when other more interesting things like pouring water on unsuspecting people's head could be done, he probably recognised the enormity of my intentions (:P) and responded..I held up his book n said,'Paapa ge apple torsi helkondamma jaana neenu'..He looked at me with a glint in his eyes which seemed to say ,'Ah! now we are talking business' and rushed towards Saanu who was contentedly sitting and drumming the remote on the floor..
Its not for nothing that they talk about girls and their sixth sense for danger coz Saanu somehow miraculously sensed danger running fast towards her and decided to run herself...My mission to get them engaged in some constructive activity would have probably been accomplished just with the running itself but for the unnecessary structures like doors etc in between which cut Saanu's run and brought her face to face with her very determined teacher who was very confidently pointing to an orange and saying 'Paapa, apal'.. Saanu tried to wriggle herself free but Sonny boy wouldnt let go..He was determined to teach and teach wrong..hehe..Never one to take such nonsense lying down (or standing up as in this case), Saanu smacked her teacher on the face and decided to attack the problem at the core and tugged at the book in his hand..The intended 'constructive exercise' soon became a tug-of-war game and very soon the once full colour book was cut in half and order, as they know it, was restored leaving both the teacher and the student very happy and pleased ...Phew!
Its on days like these that we start to think if we couldnt have contributed more to the cause and just shut up and not had kids at all..hehe